summer loving

" that which is oldest is most young and most new. there is nothing so ancient and so dead as human novelty. the 'latest' is always stillborn. it never even manages to arrive. what is really new is what was there all the time. i say, not what has repeated itself all the time; the really 'new' is that which, at every moment, springs freshly into new existence. then newness never repeats itself. yet it is so old it goes back to the earliest beginning. it is the very beginning itself, which speaks to us." - thomas merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

it is the very beginning itself, which speaks to us.

i like that.
i like it a lot.

beginnings signify something unknown to me. and sometimes unknowns are scary. and yet the fact that the unknown is what speaks to me over and over again is somehow reassuring. don't ask me how, i am not sure.

i am somehow comforted by the fact that what is new is really just something old. it makes me feel like i can tackle new challenges and not be alone. it makes me feel a part of the family of things.

today is a beautiful day with the promise of more beautiful days to come. i sat in the patch of sun my window let in today for a good thirty minutes before the sun made it's progress and no longer shined directly in my house. it felt so nice to feel it warm my back. i just sat there in the silence and let it warm me.

i am ready to go to the pool. i am ready for warm days, barbecues, and the sounds of summer. perhaps due to my beginning (being born in the summer), i have always felt something special about this particular season...and not just because i don't work the whole summer. i like the food, sounds, music, activities, and coatlessness (cool made-up word) of summer. it is what i come back to.

my whole self screams today... i am ready.