Monday, June 22, 2009

pilgrimage

i met some cool people from brazil when i walked on the camino. one such brazilian friend made this and sent it to me a few years ago. i thought i would share!

conoci a unos brazilenos cuando fui al espana a caminar. uno de ellos hizo este video y me mando hace dos anos. quise compartirlo con ustedes!


pilgrimage, rumi, and red lentil soup

to all my fellow pilgrims,
buen camino.




from terminal four gate 25 i started and ended this trip, if you can call it an end.

i wrote those words on the sixth day of july in the year 2005 after returning from a pilgrimage across spain. it has been four years since i walked the camino de santiago. there exists inside of me a battle to not forget all that was learned on the 500 mile journey. there are days i simply forget all that took place, and then there are nights when dreams rich in color and vibrancy will not let my mind let go of each step, each person met, each lesson learned and unlearned.

those nights are incredible, and i am not surprised when i wake up exhausted.


today i had lunch with a friend who not only encourages me but walked with me four summers ago. we ate delicious red lentil soup, talked about the books we were reading and caught up on each other's lives.

she was speaking to her sister when i sat down at the table, and commented, "well, jillian is here now, so i will call you later. oh, yeah, i forgot you knew her." i wondered what she possibly could be talking about. i didn't recall any such meeting. when she got off the phone she said, "she walked with you while you were on your pilgrimage."

it only took that reminder. so many people walked here in the u.s. while i was walking in spain. people i still don't know walked with me.

it was a humbling reminder.

as we prepared to say goodbye after our delicious lunch, my friend grabbed her book of rumi and left us with this parting thought.

I want to be where
your bare foot walks,

because maybe before you step,
you'll look at the ground. I want that blessing. *

these words rolled around in my head and transported me back to the road, the camino. when i returned from walking the pilgrimage, my feet were abused to say the least. half dollar sized blisters had left their toll, not to mention the invisible pain deep in the tendons. i was very much aware of my feet during the walk and for many months after. a few days after my return, friends washed my feet after a conversation of pilgrimage.

it was a humbling reminder filled with beauty and grace.

ever since the camino, i have mostly taken communion with bare feet. it serves as a reminder to me of that humility and blessing that came from walking so many miles and from having to confront myself in the midst of waving wheat fields and spanish vineyards.

every june, memories come back to life for me in dreams and visions. i welcome them. it calls me back to wholeness, it calls me back to simplicity, and it calls me back to a grace understood on the camino in ways that are impossible to explain.

on the last page of my journal, i wrote myself a note, as if i knew the time would come when forgetfulness would become easy.

this pilgrimage has and will continue to be about grace... so be gentle with yourself, jillian, as you step back into a world that seeks for grace so hard that you will miss it...

slow down

breathe

walk and see it

tranquilo. tranquilo. tranquilo.



* this is part of rumi's poem mary's hiding.



Wednesday, June 17, 2009

physics camp

my school was awarded a grant to hold science camp this summer. there are three different camps. last week was engineering camp, this week is physics camp, and next week is environmental sciences camp.

there is a special initiative in arizona to help students get hands on opportunities for science (S.T.E.M. Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics). it is also sponsored by the arizona science center.

twenty students were selected for each camp and then at the end they will go on a field trip to the arizona science center, a huge hands-on science center where kids get to play.

i signed up to help with physics camp (yes, michelle, physics camp) to learn more about how to effectively teach elementary students physics. it has been a fun week filled with making homemade solar ovens, windmills, and discussing, circuits, solar energy, renewable and nonrenewable resources, gravity, speed, and motion.

the kids have had nothing but hands on experiences learning about all these concepts and they are here even earlier than the camp starts just to get started. i love this. it is how science should be taught.

i reflect back on my experiences in science, and i really do not remember getting science in elementary school. by the time i got to middle school and high school it took a long time to unlearn all the bad habits and attitudes i had gained toward science.

first of all, i had this idea that science was solely about math, never about having fun, and that you had to be right. although involving a great deal of math, science is fun, and it is definitely not about being right.

i think there are many reasons why elementary teachers avoid science. all are excuses because most (definitely not all) general education teachers have not had great experiences in their own lives relating to science. we do not have the best professional development in science. we take one class about how to teach science and then you are expected to go into the classroom and just know how to teach it, and have all the supplies to do so. we have been so focused on reading and math, forgetting that of course science incorporates reading and math.

luckily, we are getting more and more focused on science, and focused in a good way. we are providing hands-on learning experiences for students. science and math really strike me as something that is best learned outside of a text book. although occasionally handy, experimental and life based is much more meaningful. most educators i know ultimately believe in this. so why is it so hard to convince everyone else (state departments of education, legislators, congressmen and women, etc,) that this is the way it should be?

i am glad i signed up for this week, just to reinforce how we can be facilitating the learning of science so that our students begin to think critically about the world we live in...and have some fun in the process.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

challenges

this morning i went to early morning yoga. i am definitely still a beginner in the practice of yoga but i do like having challenges every now and again.

the great thing about taking risks and taking on challenges for me is that is shows me where i can go. it shows me what my hidden potential is. i love the way the instructor today said, let's just play with this pose.

this is a bound yoga pose. you lunge forward and then clasp your hands behind you, one hand under the legs and one hand over. then today, erin said, let's play a little bit. try to raise your back leg off the ground while you do this pose.

wowza. i tried a few times and fell every time. then i grabbed some straps to help me keep bound, and for a nanosecond i was able to lift my back leg.

this is why i love yoga because it is all about the nanoseconds. it is all about knowing where you can go and then celebrating when you show even the slightest growth. i would never have imagined that i could do this pose until i was challenged to do so.

sometimes i don't know how far i can push myself until someone says, let's just play with it. it was very cool to be able to get somewhere i never thought i could or would go.


* picture courtesy of genieve's yoga site.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

ping pong

this post is dedicated to my cousins: jennifer, brenda, janet, and katie

last night justino and some friends of ours and i went to the aquaplex (the new city recreation place that yes includes a large pool with slides). usually we go to the aquaplex to play basketball, run around, or play volleyball.

aparently there is a new sport on friday nights... ping pong. yep, you read me right. ping pong.

now, a girl's got to have a little bit of fun once in awhile. so, did i mention that i grew up with the champions of ping pong? did i mention the hours, days, years spent perfecting my serve in the basement of my grandparents' house? did i mention all the blood, sweat, and tears?

heck no.

i just let them all think that this girl didn't have a clue.

cruel?
perhaps.
fun?
you better believe it!

i served some easy serves and played a couple of the guys, and when i got to the guy who had recently commented on the lack of sportiness of the girlfriends, i let loose. i slammed, spin served, and hit him with my best shot.

in the end we all had a good time. but it sure brought back memories of ping pong in grandma's basement, and listening to the old tuner and record player while sitting on those plastic chairs. none of us wanted to be the last one out of the basement because it was dark and scary after the light was turned out. there was a stuffed bobcat down there somewhere that scared the bejeebies out of me.

we had some good times down there. who'd have thought it would come to use some ten years later?

who'd have thought?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

days like these

i love days like today because i get to settle into being.

i woke up fairly early for a day off and began reading. since i have been off work for three days now, i have finished reading three books. i love to read and rarely have enough time to do so with teaching.

i am reading the book blue highways by William Least Heat-Moon. it has turned out to be much better than i expected. it is a story of a pilgrimage of sorts on back roads and byways of america across north, south, east, and west. i am enjoying it immensely.

he writes" maybe the road could provide a therapy through observation of the ordinary and obvious, a means whereby the outer opens an inner one. stop, look, listen, the old railroad crossing signs warned. Whitman calls it "the profound lesson of reception." new ways of seeing can disclose new things: the radio telescope revealed quasars and pulsars, and the scanning electron microscope showed the whiskers of the dust mite. but turn the question around: do new things make for new ways of seeing?"

after an experience of eating supper with an impoverished family he wrote, "down along the ridge, i wondered why it's always those who live on little who are the ones who ask you to dinner."

yes, friends, this book is shaping up to be a great reminder of pilgrimage. just when i forget or the days of walking miles and miles seems far away, i read something that reminds me. i need this.

i scurried out of bed, packed the book in a bag, and biked to yoga. i went to a class with a different instructor today and it was wonderful. she reminded all of us that no matter how many times she tells us we are divine and beautiful that it will take our own journeys of casting aside the layers in order to believe it. today for a few moments, i believed it.

i biked around my old college campus. biked around down town. met up with some friends. biked home. i also had great conversations over the phone with some friends i haven't talked to in ages.

all felt well today. i felt relaxed, at peace, loved.

days like these past few make me feel whole, and remind me to look at others in wholeness and not in brokenness.

hope your day felt well.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

new car

there are certain things about being an adult that scare the crap out of me. these things come in cycles, and i feel like once i get the hang of it everything is okay. i generally find that these things are uncomfortable because i feel like i may be taken advantage of. i am not sure where this particular sentiment comes from but i just feel it. so i get defensive in order to compensate for my lack of knowledge or vocabulary on the subject.

here is my list of adult things that are scary.

1. moving out on your own and understanding how to budget for everything.

2. filling out all your paper work for a new job.

3. doing your taxes for the first time.

4. filling out paperwork for retirement funds and investing your money responsibly.

5. anything pertaining to health insurance.

6. buying a new car and taking out your first loan.

one through five have been experiences i have already had to deal with and thanks to being able to ask a lot of questions, i feel they were all handled successfully. but now, here i am faced with adult challenge number 6. buying a new car.

ugh.

justino and i went to the subaru dealership on a whim about a month ago, just to look at the cars there. i currently own a 2000 forester and love it. we were mainly just wishing, hoping, dreaming, and planning, as we walked around the lot. we weren't all that serious. we didn't even test drive anything.

last weekend we returned to the lot, slightly more serious. we test drove an outback (which i was pretty sure i didn't want.) we talked finances on two different vehicles. and i walked out, pretending to be okay but really thinking... i have no idea what i am doing.

so i did what any young woman does in a situation like this... i called my mom. it is times like these that you really appreciate the experience your parents have. in the aforementioned items, i think i pretended i didn't need my parents' help... you know, all that independence stuff we pride ourselves on. but now, i think i have grown slightly wiser. mom and dad are on speed dial, and why not use their expertise.

so i asked a million questions. mom in turn gave me good advice and a list of questions to research. i researched for a couple of days. made a comparison chart between the two models of cars, and looked at my finances closely.

i returned today alone, armed with my lists, and ready to test drive again. today i test drove on the highway a subaru forester and an impreza outback sport. i knew immediately which one i wanted (despite the fact one had an amazing apr (see i can even use the lingo now)). i am a forester girl through and through. the new foresters are incredible, they ride smoothly, have a lot more cargo and leg room, and a higher ground clearance.

not to mention:
high strength steel bodies in a ring configuration which creates stronger b beams
has a curb weight of 3,250 lbs
a double wishbone rear suspension
DC3 Chassis
17 in. rims
8.9 in ground clearance
3 in wider body than previous models.
awd which distributes the power evenly

okay, now i am just showing off.

i bartered today. i actually bartered with the fancy dressed sales man. sure i have bartered before but a mexican beach and a car lot are completely different.

i still haven't made the plunge yet. but justino and i will go back probably tomorrow or Friday and just see what we can afford. i think we will be getting an okay deal and feel great cruising around in our new forester. we will be just like the subaru commercial where the family moves one forester out of the garage to put another one in. we will have our little rus side by side.

i think an important step in growing is knowing it is okay to ask questions. it is okay to not know what all that stuff means.

thanks mom and dad for all your expertise in car shopping and loans. i needed it.

Monday, June 8, 2009

gardening creates community


the growing season may be short here but it always makes me smile the weekend when i go to buy all the plants. this year i decided to go big or go home. so justino and i built elevated beds because the place we rent is not quite conducive to gardening.

a few weekends ago, we built the beds in the drizzling rain and planted strawberries, chives, basil, oregano, rosemary, jalapenos, habaneros, small green onions, cilantro, and flowers (impatients, columbines, pansies) for some color.

there are a lot of small children (under five) that live in the area so i knew it might be a struggle to keep all the plants in tact. so far, in three weeks, we have had only one plant stepped on and a few flowers picked. i was not really worried about it. what i didn't expect was such a fascination by the kids in the plants.

every morning i hear little feet running over to the plants to see if a strawberry has grown or if any peppers are on the plants. i decided two weeks ago, when i stopped a two year old from touching the habanero plant that it might be a good idea for them to help out so they felt that the garden was theirs too. little did i know that it would turn into such a community of young gardeners.

since their new found ownership, they carefully look and touch
the plants withoutt breaking off any stems, they check them diligently for worms or lack of water. about five minutes ago a two year old was scooping out more soil from a bag and placing it gently around the columbines saying har, har, har... which i think translates to here, here, here. he left his pet dinosaur on the stairs. he didn't seem to want to play with him after he saw the large green watering can.

a five year old held the large watering can and watered all the onions and peppers w
hile asking, what is this plant, while his ten year old sister supervised the process and added some dirt where it was needed.


after a while, a few more toddlers came to join us.


i didn't stop to think until today about the impact this small garden might have on these kids. i always grew up around gardening because it is something my mom loves to do. i realize that apartments are not the most promising place for a garden, but it seems to have brightened up the place and been a great incentive for all of us to get outside a little more. i can't wait to see their faces when there is actually a pepper and strawberry growing on the green stems.

what i love about these kids the most is their patience to let the plants grow
and their dedication to coming over every morning just to check. since they feel like they have some stock in the garden, they take care of it. they watch with wonder and point out new leaves, or tr oubled plants, or plants that need more soil. they are observant, patient, and in awe. they make me smile and bring out the two, four, and ten year old selves that
reside somewhere inside. they m
ake me want to play outside with colored chalk, and run through sprinklers.

it is going to be a great summer.